Women are complex creatures, and they take a lot of work to please, or at least the ones do that you want to really invest your time in. They’re especially difficult to please in bed after a few times. They start to expect a certain level of performance, and we don’t just mean how long you can go before orgasm. A huge part of sex for many women is psychological, and while the standard techniques in bed that are purely physical – oral sex, for example – are tried and true classics, we thought it would make sense to expand into the purely psychological realm. This doesn’t mean you have to get into the BDSM scene, although that can also be fun. Here are a few simple ideas to spice up your time in the bedroom and win some points with the woman you’re seeing.
Letting Her Play with You
We don’t mean in the naughty way, but we do. What this means is becoming the recipient, and letting her use some toys on you. We’re often taught to think that anything outside traditional, heterosexual intercourse, with maybe a few kinks she performs, is deviant or somehow to be avoided. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Letting your lady use a vibrator on you, or even have a little anal fun, is something you need to do tonight if you never have. You’re missing out a ton, and it’ll win points if you’re so open-minded and forward thinking. Maybe she won’t be into it, either, but the fact you offer in the first place will make her feel like you’re making yourself a little vulnerable in the bedroom by being willing to try new things outside your comfort zone.
Indulging Her Kinks
Everyone has kinks, and sometimes, women harbor some really surprising ones. She might like to get naked and pop balloons in her own time – there’s a name for that – but she’s never going to share that information with anyone because she probably thinks it would be considered bizarre. Maybe she has a favorite role play she’s been dying to try, but is too embarrassed to bring up.
Encourage her to share her fantasies and support her in her kinks. By offering to participate in her kinks and reassure her that they’re nothing to be embarrassed about, she’ll feel like you understand her and that you’re someone to be trusted.
This is outside the bedroom, but our favorite part of dirty e-mails, or even sexting, is that it builds up the anticipation. If you didn’t meet her online, writing to her may feel strange at first, but give it a try. Write her a sexy e-mail when you’re unable to see each other immediately, like on your lunch break at work (use your smartphone), and see what she does. Using words to seduce women is an old method that goes back centuries, but she won’t be expecting it. Don’t make it crass, unless she likes that. Make it sexy and graphic in a way that’s also tasteful. By the time you get her into bed, she’ll be raring to go.