Beginner Kinks: How to Learn
Maybe you’ve only had vanilla sex in the past, and that’s okay. It’s time for a change, though, and that’s what you’ll definitely get when it comes to alternative women. Vanilla sex is the last thing that is on their minds, and it’s usually posted loud and clear what their interests are when it comes to their online dating profiles.
Even if you’ve never had kinky sex, you shouldn’t be scared off.
It’s really easy to bring in some light kink into your alternative hookups. While not every experience you have is going to involve a lot of down and dirty kinky stuff, it’s best to at least have the mindset that most of these alt girls are going to want you to be less vanilla than you’ve ever been in your life.
The good news is that there are plenty of alt dating tips for this sort of thing, especially if you’ve never done anything close to kinky sex. Maybe you’ve just looked at porn that is close to the equivalent, but that’s a lot different than doing it in practice.
And that’s why you need to consider what you’re really into.
It’s good to know what she’s into, but what are you into? If you’re not sure, then definitely have a look back at the porn that you’ve enjoyed in the past, or any fantasies that you’ve found yourself thinking about repeatedly. While these aren’t necessarily things that you want to do in real life, they’re a good starting place, and you can pick and choose pieces of them in order to make your sex life that much more interesting in the future.
There’s nothing weird or perverted about kinky sex.
Kinky sex, in general, is just another way to have a blast in the bedroom. The best sex we’ve ever had has been considered kinky and crazy by our other, far more vanilla partners. We sort of have to roll our eyes, because we know a lot of alternative women that are into some very hardcore things. We’re not saying that you’re going to immediately jump into that when you start dating alt women, but just be aware: they exist in spades.
There are some pretty basic, easy-to-employ kinky ideas that you can bring into the bedroom with little to no stress on both of you. If you want to go above and beyond that, then discuss with your date at length about what exactly they’re into. Otherwise, keep it simple, and keep it easy for both of you to do without finding yourselves in need of a medic afterwards.
Light bondage is one great way to start.
This can be as simple as a scarf she’s wearing, a tie you’ve got on, or a belt that’s hanging out somewhere on the doorknob. It might even be a pair of fuzzy handcuffs that she has already clipped to the headboard of her bed (our blog is full of interesting sex information).
Whatever the case, light bondage in this case is easy, simple, and really nonthreatening to people that haven’t ever been up to their necks in kink before.
Bringing a bit of light bondage into the bedroom is a great alt dating strategy that will definitely make her eyes light up. As we’ve said before, though, make sure she’s okay with it before you end up handcuffing her to the bed. If she’s not into it or has a few specific rules regarding to it, hear her out. It’s important for you to follow what she wants, or the two of you aren’t going to have any fun that evening at all.
Alternatively, there’s always a spank or two that’ll work.
Hand spanking is a great way to hop into something kinky while making you both squirm. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never tried it before–bringing it up to an alternative woman will probably make her pretty eager to jump right into your lap and give it a whirl.
There are a few different ways you can do this, and no, it doesn’t make you any less of a dude to want to be spanked by the hot alt girl that you’ve brought home. Whether she’s taking you over her knee or you’re taking her over yours, spanking can be exhilarating, and it honestly only requires a bit of practice before the two of you will find yourself getting pretty good at it.
Paddling is another option if you’re more adventurous.
We don’t suggest that you break out whips on the first date, but if she’s into more hardcore versions of spanking, investing in a good paddle might be the way to go. This option is usually less of a sting than hand-spanking, and that sort of thud is what many women end up preferring. It can leave harder bruises if used incorrectly, though, so do your research before you bring out a paddle in the middle of your evening.
Truth be told, there are a ton of other kinks that the two of you can explore, but it all depends on your comfort zone. If she’s into having hot wax dripped over her tattoos, then oblige her, so long as she’s into it. If you’ve got one heck of a foot fetish, tell her, and you might find yourself surprised at how much she’s into it.
Kinks aren’t an obligation, but your date is going to expect it.
Most alternative women are into some form of alternative sex. That’s a fact. Even if you’ve never tried out any kind of kinky sex before, now’s the time to give it a shot.