Waking up the next day after an amazingly hot night out can be something of a rush. That jaunt back into reality after hooking up with a hot alternative woman can be disappointing, so sit back and think about your experiences over the next day before you send her an e-mail right off the bat.
At the most, give yourself a day or two.
Take the time to make notes to yourself about your encounter. Was she too much for you? Not enough? Just right? If you really liked her, then you probably took the time to really follow those alternative dating site reviews closely, and you might want to pop back over to that site again in hopes of finding another woman that was just as fun as she was–or, you might actually want to hookup with her again.
Think about your night together. Consider carefully what you liked about it, and what you didn’t. This is very important to sit back and think about, because it honestly will determine if you want to hookup with this woman again. While she might have been amazing for a one-night stand, trying to see her on a regular basis might not be something that you want to commit yourself to.
If you want to meet lots of different women on these sites, then that’s your prerogative and you should stick to it. If you want to find a regular casual sex partner, then that’s fine too. Either way, think carefully before you consider shooting her off an e-mail.
Only e-mail her if you want to meet up with her again.
You’re not obligated to talk to this woman again–remember that. She’s also not obligated to talk to you ever again, and this is the typical, two-way street of online hookups. Even if you two enjoyed your night, you might just want to leave it at that and go your separate ways; that’s perfectly fine, normal, and acceptable.
It doesn’t matter if the two of you are using a free alternative dating site or if you’re using a paid service. You don’t owe her a reply. If you didn’t entirely enjoy the night, then it might be best for you to move onto someone else. She won’t take offense over it, because hey, that’s just how it pans out sometimes.
If you want to shoot her an e-mail, then don’t harass her.
Honestly, you should consider this being something of a “back to square one, but with a little bit more intimacy” kind of moment for both of you.
You’ve slept together. That’s a jump in your relationship, but you both knew it was going to happen when the two of you met up. That doesn’t mean you should stop treating her with respect, or only talk about sex with her from now on.
When you e-mail, don’t spend your time asking her for another sexual encounter. That’s just going to annoy her, and make it seem like she’s nothing but a booty call to you. Here’s a suggestion that we have for an e-mail that you could send to her a couple of days after the fact:
“Hi, Elisabetha. Sorry it took so long getting back to you–my mind was a little fuzzy from our night out, and it still feels like I’m trying to get back on my feet. You were amazing, and if you’d like to ever meet up again in the future, give me a buzz. You’re one hell of a woman and I really enjoyed my night out with you.”
You’re covering all the bases in this e-mail by telling her how great the sex was, but also, you’re letting her know that you still think she is the awesome one. This way, you aren’t sounding like you just want her for the bedroom antics, and that’s the kind of thing that will bring her back into your bedroom again in the future.
There’s also no need to feel guilty if you didn’t enjoy the sex with her.
It’s okay to have a bad night out. While it might be disappointing, that’s how the world works sometimes. If you end up not really thrilled with the alt woman that you hooked up on one night, get back out there and find another one.
That’s why you should take the time to compare alternative dating sites again, and maybe try another one to better have a different look at what’s out there and available for you.
Consider this an experience for your little black book.
Whether you’ve got a black book on the computer or in your hand, it’s a good idea to keep track of all of the women that you’ve had sex with, and especially which sites that you ended up meeting them on.
Keeping these kinds of records can really determine if you want to use a site again–especially if you didn’t enjoy having sex with the woman that you meet up with last night. You might not want to run into her again, and remembering which site that you two met up on can make for a much more painless experience for you in the future.
Keeping track of these records is just a good idea in general, because it can prevent some messy fall-out if the two of you ever try to hit one another up again…and not quite realize that this is someone you’ve had sex with in the past.
Whether or not you decide to e-mail her back, be cool about it.
If you didn’t like the sex, that’s fine. If you did like the sex, that’s great. Keep a level head, and remember that this is all about having fun.